How to Let Go of Expectations (& Free Yourself)
Why is it that we, as human beings, are so captivated by what society says is "normal"? When we did decide to let other people make decisions for us? And why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to achieve these arbitrary milestones that society has laid out for us? Think about it, these milestones that we so desperately feel we must reach —where did they come from in the first place? Did you personally ever agree to them? When did society's expectations become our own personal goals?
I, FOR ONE, AM HERE TO BREAK THE RULES. I'M HERE TO BREAK AWAY FROM EVERYTHING I ONCE THOUGHT WAS "NORMAL" AND "ACCEPTABLE." AND I WANT TO HELP YOU DO THE SAME.
Now, I am not saying that you should completely disregard what anyone thinks of you to the point of disrespecting others, for example. But I do believe we are all capable of being our own trailblazers in this world. And I fully believe that we are completely in charge of carving out our own paths. Our current circumstances are, in part, the product of a lifetime of decisions that we have made, whether consciously or unconsciously. Maybe, right now, you are finding that your current circumstances are not what you hoped for. Or maybe you followed every single rule that society has laid out for you, and STILL things don't feel right and you are scratching your head in frustration wondering why.
If you are feeling this way, then I have a question for you. Is the life that you are currently living completely YOURS? Meaning, is it a product of decisions that YOU ALONE made, or is it a product of decisions that you have allowed society to make for you? So many of us walk around on auto-pilot, conforming to what we believe we should be doing based on what the rest of society does. But, my friend, should is a very dangerous word. Should implies a sense of a guilt. It implies a sense that we are not in control, that we are basing a decision on the standards that we believe society has set for us.
How many times have you found yourself saying, "Well, I really want to do this, but I really should do that." When you utter a phrase like this one, try and catch yourself in the moment. Ask yourself WHY. Why do you believe you should be doing anything other than what you want or need to do? I can't tell you how many times I used to tell myself that I should go to the gym, only to find myself plopping on the couch to watch Netflix and pig out on chocolate instead. I finally realized that by using the word should, I was making myself feel guilty for not doing it in the first place, while simultaneously eliminating a sense of desire or need to actually go to the gym. It was not a decision that was coming from within.
The day that I finally decided that I WANTED to go to the gym because I WANTED to feel healthier and stronger, rather than because I thought it was what I was supposed to do, that was the day that I regained control and gave myself the intrinsic motivation that I really needed to make a change. I decided that I wasn't going to the gym for ANYONE else but me because I WANTED to feel different, and that was the clarity that I needed to take action.
The same goes for any choice in career path. I have met so many people that have chosen career paths based on other people's expectations- they do it to please their parents, or because all of their friends are doing it, or because they wanted to do it since they were a child and have come too far to turn back now, even though it no longer feels right. Other people get stuck in a certain path and continue along because it's so much easier than leaving and having to start from zero. I completely get it. But in doing so, people tend to forget their whole motivation for choosing a certain path in the first place. They are too caught up in other peoples' expectations of how they should be living. There are so many people on auto-pilot at work who end up feeling lost and stuck.
WE NEED TO ELIMINATE THE WORD SHOULD ALTOGETHER, AND TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF OURSELVES. LET'S SEPARATE ALL OF THE SHOULDS FROM OUR ACTUAL WANTS AND NEEDS.
So let me ask you: What are your expectations of you? Let go of everyone else's. At the end of the day, you only get to live YOUR life, and no one else can live it for you. No matter what anyone else says, you ARE in control of your own decisions. You always have a choice. And once you decide to let go of other peoples' expectations, and only do what you are motivated to do because you WANT to, not because you feel obligated — that's when you will start to experience a real sense of freedom. And that is truly one of the greatest feelings in the world.
So get out there and be your own trailblazer! And remember, I'm here for you.
