5 Reasons You Feel Stuck (+ How to Fix it)
One of the worst feelings I have experienced in the workplace so far is the sense that I am stuck. It is the feeling that I am trapped in a role that doesn't feel right, doing menial tasks that completely drain me rather than excite me. It is waking up every morning and being overcome with a sense of dread for what the workday will bring. It is the understanding that I am in a job that isn't the right fit, but I have no idea how to make a change and get out of it. I feel too much attachment — to the people around me, to the income, to the benefits, and to what society tells me I am supposed to do. I feel afraid to make a change because I don't know what's next. I feel a black hole of uncertainty at the thought of leaving.
DOES THIS SOUND LIKE YOU? DO YOU CURRENTLY FEEL STUCK IN A ROLE THAT DRAINS YOU AND CAUSES YOU NEGATIVE FEELINGS? I CAN TELL YOU THAT YOU DON'T NEED TO FEEL THIS WAY FOREVER.
Here are four reasons why you might be feeling stuck right now:
1. You're not using your strengths
Your strengths are the innate abilities that come naturally to you. You know you are using a strength when it helps you feel energized, uplifted, even excited. This can be different from a skill, which is an ability you have developed and acquired through practice. For example, one of my strengths is relationship-building. This means that I get energized from forming deeper relationships with people. It is something that I have always done naturally, and something that is very important to me in my daily life. The longer I go without using this strength, the more isolated and drained I will start to feel. On the other hand, a skill I have acquired over time is using Microsoft Excel. While I have become very good at it by practicing this skill, if I do it often enough for extended periods of time, I will find myself feeling very drained and even irritated. If you often feel this way at work, this could be a sign that you are not using your own strengths enough.
2. Your work-life balance is not reflecting your values
We all live by a guiding set of values, whether we are conscious of it or not. These values are what matter most to us in life, they are our inner guiding principles that paint the lens through which we see the world. When we find ourselves feeling stuck in a certain situation, it's important to step back and take a look at our work-life balance. Do you find yourself checking your work email off hours when you are at home with family? If you value being family-oriented, for example, then you will experience an inner conflict because you have now prioritized your work over an important value of yours. Or another scenario — let's say you really value health and it's important to you to be physically fit. If your work is taking away your time from going to the gym, then you are going to experience an inner conflict which will cause frustration and even resentment towards your job.
3. Your needs at work are not being fulfilled
Everyone has a specific set of needs. When these needs are not met in our day-to-day, it can cause a great sense of distress and frustration over time. Think of this as the fuel gauge in your car, and your needs as the fuel. The longer you go without fueling the gauge, the closer to empty you will run. Many needs we have at work have to do with the interactions we have with coworkers on a daily basis. These interactions may focus on competition, diversity, friendship, or recognition, to name a few. Think about what kind of interactions you experience most of the time at work, and how they make you feel. If you often compete with your coworkers, for example, how important is this to you? Would you rather your daily interactions center around something else? This will be a good indicator of what you need from your interactions at work.
4. You're in the wrong type of role
Roles come in all shapes and sizes, and focus on different types of activities. For example, a role in construction will focus largely on physical and repetitive tasks throughout the day. On the other hand, an interior designer will most likely focus on activities that are creative, innovative, and high-variety. Ask yourself — what kind of activities take up the bulk of your role, and how do those activities make you feel? If they are causing you negative feelings, then that's a good indicator that you are involved in the wrong kind of role.
5. You're in the wrong environment
There are many kinds of environments that you will find in a workplace, and it's important to understand the work environment in which you can thrive. For example, some places are fast-paced and competitive, while others are more structured and quiet. Do you work well in a competitive environment, or does this fill you with a sense of dread? Do you get easily frazzled with unexpected issues, and prefer a more structured and predictable work environment? These are the kinds of questions you will need to ask yourself. If you are currently feeling stuck, then chances are, you are in the wrong type of work environment.
HOW TO FIX IT
Get REAL with yourself. Honesty and self-reflection is absolutely essential to figure how to get yourself unstuck. Grab a pen and paper and start journaling to get yourself started on a path of clarity. Consider the four reasons I've mentioned above, and write out a list to answer each of them. This includes a list of: your strengths, your values, your needs, the type of activities you do in your role, and the kind of work environment you're in. Just write the first thoughts that come to mind.
KEEP IN MIND THE THINGS THAT DRAIN YOU AT WORK VS. THOSE THAT GIVE YOU ENERGY.
Speak up. Now that you have written out your lists, you should have some insightful findings that you can use to discuss with your manager. Brainstorm some solutions that would help you better integrate some of your strengths into your current role. For example, if you realized that one of your strengths is relationship-building, and you are mostly isolated at work, think of an outreach project that would allow you to interview others at the company. Or volunteer to be a mentor to someone within the company. Talk to your manager about your findings and see how he/she reacts. Perhaps there is a solution you can reach that would allow you to use your strengths and fulfill your needs better.
Consider getting outside help. Sometimes journaling alone is not enough. Speaking your concerns to a neutral third-party can help you see your natural patterns when it comes to dealing with stress. This can help you gain new revelations that you wouldn't be able to gain on your own.
